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Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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