you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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