i was born a porn star she said
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
