I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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