Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
