actually, I'm a sock model
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
