I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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