i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
