Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
