If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
