Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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