We're like a lot better than the average bears
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
