So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
