I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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