I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize