I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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