boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize