the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
