Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
