Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
