Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
