this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
