he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
