I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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