Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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