conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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