PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
