Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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