Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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