I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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