Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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