you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
