well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
