hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
