Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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