Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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