a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
