before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
