what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
