She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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