I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize