Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
