drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize