he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
