Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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