as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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