you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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