So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He felt like a one man threesome
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
