i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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