garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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