Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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