dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
