I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
