the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
