Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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