so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize