I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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