i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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