Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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