Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
