I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
