So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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